Doing nothing is very hard to do… you never know when you’re finished. I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there’s no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that’s standing ten feet [...]

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. A waffle is like a pancake with a syrup trap. All these jokes have been pre-approved as funny by me. An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for [...]

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. A man’s only as old as the woman he feels. A woman is an occasional pleasure [...]

And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else’s, I’m happy to do it. As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people. Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know [...]